Dean doesn’t believe in angels. Which is odd, because he deals with demons all the time. That’s the weirdest skepticism I’m ever heard.

11 minutes in and there haven’t been any credits yet. This episode is getting all Veronica Mars length on us.

Another angel, another knife through the heart. These angels are all into this vigilantly justice. You can’t really get orders handed down from any higher than God, I guess. I wonder how the CEO of the universe feels about his earnings report for Q4 of 2006.

First knife heart victim was a serial killer. The second one was a pedophile. These angels are making some good calls.

Ahhh. Got it. The victims went to the same Catholic church. So the priest hears these sins and sends out “angels” or something to get these parishioners That tricky little devil. I mean, trick little….errrr. Something.

Now Sam saw an angle. Oh Sammy. Nothing good will come from this.

The old priest had been murdered. So the new priest is using the old priest as an angel.

Sam, tricked by Dean, is doing a séance for the dead priest while Dean goes after Sam’s mark. I guess the new priest wasn’t involved at all. Sorry for mistrusting you, new priest. I trust anything new, because I’m 90 years old.

Dean stopped the rapist. Sam is settling this dead priest down. He’s all hopped up on something. Power and starched clothing, probably.

And the rapist? He got impaled by a shaft. How ironic.

It looks like our boys got themselves into a bit of bank robbing trouble somehow. When in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, take a brewery tour and rob a bank.

A bank and a jewelry store had been hit by employees of these places in the last two weeks. Then the employee who pulled the crime went home and committed suicide. Allegedly.

Some large hairy fellow thinks the robbers are actually shape shifting robots. Mandroids, he calls them. Our FBI spoofing lads told him he was imagining things, while confiscating his evidence.

It’s actually a shape shifter. You may or may not remember the shape shifter that turned into Dean and framed him for murder.

Too bad Large Hairy went crazy and decided to hold everyone in a bank hostage. Never trust Large Hairy. Unless he’s Hurley.

Dean, the smooth talker that he is, calms Large Hairy down. Large Hair insists on locking everyone in the vault while he and Dean search for shape shifters.

I’m recapping a lot. I should stop that and make some light hearted comments. Maybe about girth. No, that’s too easy and mean.

Hostage situation. Snipers shooting Large Hairy. Shape shifter on the loose. This is wonderfully tense and claustrophobic. There is also the dry as talcum humor in this show, which always lays a nice underlying tone.

The FBI showed up. The real FBI. And they know all about Dean and Sam. Even Papa Whinny. Things just got more tense. More tenser. Tenserer.

This shape shifter is a tricky little dude. And now the SWAT team is inside. But Dean stabbed the shape shifter and Sam got an idea from the shape shifter. Or from The Professional. Anyway, I’m sure they’re going to steal some SWAT outfits and sneak out.

They did exactly what I expected. That calls for some peanut butter M&Ms!

We start out in a creepy inn full of creepy dolls and that creepy girl from The 4400. Dolls kind of freak me out. Their dead eyes and their constant need to go to the bathroom. I think it all stems from a Twilight Zone episode I saw when I was young and a creepy painting of Raggedy Ann and Andy in my grandparents house. Dolls suck.

The inn keeper thinks Sam and Dean are gay. For each other. That’s good fun. I wonder how Isaiah Washington would have reacted to the situation.

Our supernatural hunters are checking out the inn for hoodoo. Hoodoo is traditional African folk magic. It is not voodoo. Hoodoo is like voodoo without the religious aspect. They are both complete nonsense. But also very creepy.

Then a doll hung itself. Then a man hung himself. These events are probably unrelated and should be ignored and dismissed.

All of a sudden, Sam is drunk as a skunk. He was sad that he couldn’t save the hanging man. He’s probably a little bit upset about the hanging doll too. That’s only because he’s drunk and doesn’t realize that dolls aren’t living creatures.

Did I mention there is an old lady who lives in the attic? That probably isn’t important. The grannie also had a hoodoo necklace wearing nanny when she was a girl. Also unimportant. Mark my words.

Ah ha ha! The creepy The 4400 girl is “imaginary.” Told you it wasn’t attic lady. That would have been too obvious. The obvious makes me angry.

Playground equipment playing with itself? Run, idiot! Sorry to resort to harsh name calling, but you obviously aren’t easy to reason with.

Old lady was using good hoodoo to keep evil girl spirit away. Then she had a stroke, and the hoodoo protection was lost. Now creepy spirit, who is actually old lady’s dead sister, is trying to get real little girl to drown herself. So there will be two lonely spirits trapped in the inn, not one.

Old stroke lady gave her life to save her granddaughter. It wouldn’t be a real big sacrifice, considering her quality of life, but I imagine she’s stuck in the inn forever now. Then again, they have a pool. If you’re going to be forever trapped somewhere, it might as well have a pool.

I miss taxis that look like taxis instead of plain old cars.

I’m really excited to be watching Supernatural again. Even though I don’t believe in the supernatural. Isn’t that weird? I think it’s weird.

Someone who I was probably supposed to just got murdered. Wait, Dean is going to tell Sam what Papa Winny whispered before he died. If Dean can’t save Sam, he has to kill him.

Dean asked Sam to lay low while they figured everything out. Sam promptly stole a car and drove to a burnt out house. The we got all exploded by a grenade. But it was just a dream. Someone else’s dream! There’s a neat twist. You don’t have the monopoly on future dreams anymore Sam!

The guy from the beginning who got opened up was a psychic mother-killed-by-demon fellow just like Sam. No worries. Girl with Sam blow-up dream came and saved Sam. I have a feeling she isn’t the only girl dreaming about Sam. Rawr.

Sam and girl stole dead open chest fellow’s psych tape recording. And who is trying to murder these future soldiers of the devil? None other than our jerky vampire killing friend whose name I forgot. Not that the vampires were jerks. He was a jerk.

The jerk captured Dean. We’ll just call him Hunter, since that’s what he does. He’s going to blow up Sam with a grenade. I remember that from somewhere. Oh yeah! Earlier!

The explosions happened. But did they get Sam? There is his shoe. And there is fully put together Sam. That means only one thing. Fist fight, Western style! Aww, no one slid along the bar, and then their head went through a wall, and then they saw the burlesque dancers changing. Ahhhh, Westerns. Oh, and no swinging from chandlers.

The cops came and captured Hunter with his car full of weapons. Good work, Sammy Winny. No one dies. At least we got to see what it would be like if someone exploded. It would be messy.

Whoop. Looks like Girl’s fiance was murdered in his sleep by a demon. Or the girl. Or the demon took the girl and murdered the guy. Either I’m stupid and missed it, or we’ll find out on another episode. Guess we’ll have to keep tuning in.

Sam and Dean are in police custody! For credit card fraud, breaking and entering, and even murder. Oh no, this had better not be a bunch of talking in interrogation rooms.

So Dean is the only one suspected of murder. That’s because a shape shifter took his form and murdered a bunch of people. That explanation probably won’t fly. If the shed skin of a shape shifting monster don’t fit, you must acquit.

Whew, the interrogation room scenes are spliced with S(am and D)ean investigating the murder of their dad’s friend by a ghost. Maybe it is Ghost Dad, who could kill with his shockingly low box office records.

This show is scary! The ghost that murdered the older gentleman just murdered his daughter. Closets should not be stepped into when there is a ghost after you.

Also, if your printer starts printing nonsense? Don’t check to see what it says. Keep on moving. And all the sinks start spurting out boiling hot water? Maybe you don’t really need to wash your hands right now.

Sam escaped, and one of the lady cops saw the ghost, so they are working together. She’s a little freaked out, to say the least. They must join forces to solve this mystery! Sam and lady! Go, Sady!

The found the ghost lady’s body, with a little help from the ghost. Now it is a simple step to burn and salt the body to put it at rest…wait wait. It’s wearing a necklace. Obviously, they can’t burn the body just yet. I mean, a necklace!

The ghost isn’t a vengeful spirit. She is a death warning. She is trying to warn people before their deaths. The ghost wants justice.

Ghost Justice: In COLOUR!!!

Sady’s partner, not the Dean partner, is the one doing all the killing. And now, Dean is next. Driving him out to the middle of nowhere for more than the fresh country air.

Remember all of those things I told you to avoid? Those are warning signs. Pay very close attention. Then sit down and talk to the ghost. Serve it tea. Ask it to tell you stories.

With the evil partner shot down, the Sady partnership is dissolved. Sean walks into the sunset. Everybody’s happy.

And black goo is dripping into a girl’s new apartment. Then she disappears. This happens to young blond women in this Philadelphia apartment complex about every decade. They conveniently keep that out of the lease. And the black stuff was ectoplasm. You need to be a really angry spirit to make that stuff.

To complicate matters, the flirty blond daughter of the Roadhouse owner has tagged along. The Roadhouse is where “hunters” go to take a load off.

Blondie and Dean found a little prize in the building’s vent. It was a clump of long blond hair. Oh, with a nice piece of scalp attached. What a treat! That is like when two M&Ms come stuck together.

Then another blond girl from the apartment got grabbed. By a scary hand. Through a grate. It is not a ninja turtle.

The creepy apartment building was built on a creepy lot that was used to hang people from the creepy prison next door. The spirit haunting this particular apartment complex? H. H. Holmes, one of America’s first serial killers. Interesting, no? Yes. Check this out:

H. H. Holmes managed to secure a Chicago pharmacy by defrauding and eventually murdering the pharmacist and his family, and built a block-long, three-story building on the lot across the street. Neighbors called this building “The Castle”. Holmes opened it as a hotel for the World’s Columbian Exposition in 1893, using the rest of the structure for shops he rented. The bottom floor of the Castle contained these shops (one a jeweler, for example), his personal office, and the upper floors a maze of over one hundred windowless rooms with doorways that would open to brick walls, stairways to nowhere, doors that could only be opened from the outside, and a host of other maze-like constructions. Over a period of three years, Holmes selected female victims from among his employees, lovers, or hotel’s guests, and tortured them in soundproof and escapeproof chambers fitted with gas lines that permitted Holmes to asphyxiate the women at any time.

Holmes grabbed Jo, the blond lassie, while she was crawling around in the walls looking for the other missing women. As tempting it may be and as lonely as you may be, fellas, don’t crawl around in the walls to find women. It will only end badly.

A few blond girls, including Jo, are trapped in the basement. Well, not the basement. There is no basement. Holmes had to settle for the old abandoned sewer chambers below. If I had a nickel for every time I had to settle for an old abandoned sewer chamber, I’d be rich.

Eeee! We just got to see HH’s creepy teeth and grisly mustache. Then he was stabbed by a pure iron knife. Good to know. There are so many good tips in this show!

Then the fellas and Jo trapped H. H. forever within a ring of rock salt. But that isn’t good enough. Sam and Dean combine together to form cement pouring Sean! Able to encase age old mass murderers in a single pour!

It turns out dead pop pop John Winchester got Jo’s father killed on a hunt. And there is your little bit of continuing plot for the episode.

Overall, possible the best episode of Supernatural that I have seen. If you are not watching this show, you are missing out.

An older and portly doctor got a phone call. Suddenly, he buys a gun and shoots the gun store owner. Then he does himself in. Sean saw this in one of his crazy visions. It hasn’t happened yet, but it could.

Ben Edlund, creator of The Tick, wrote this episode. He wrote the Jaynestown episode of Firefly too. So if my calculations are correct, Ben Edlund rocks!

After a quick trip to the Roadhouse and a spin of REO Speedwagon on the jukebox, Sean is on the road again with a lead.

When Sean has visions, they are of people who have been touched by the demon, like himself. This demon gives these fellas power, like the ability to make friends and influence people. For example, this young mind controller got Sean to cheerfully give up his car. All the while, Sean followed the doctor and stopped his shooting spree. Instead, the doctor got hit by a bus.

The mind controlling kid the boys are after? He isn’t the one killing people with his mind. There is another mind out there that will cause a middle aged lady to douse herself with gasoline and calmly light herself with her car’s cigarette lighter. Whoever the murderer is, they hate their elders.

The lady who burnt was the mind controller’s mother. The doctor who died delivered him. You see, mind control was adopted. And he has a twin! An evil twin with mind control powers!

The evil twin, with no eye patch but with a goatee, was ready to kill the good twin’s girlfriend. Now it time for a twin battle! Oh, the good one shot the bad one in the back. That was simple.

That was an okay episode. I was hoping for more twin hijinks, even it they were only fraternal.

For those of you who are bound to complain, Sam plus Dean equals Sean. I will continue to say “Sean” even if you don’t like it.

This episode deals with vampires. Those are the fun guys and girls that drink blood.

Sean loves to pretend. First they were reporters, the next moment they are doctors. Do they even want to be demon hunters?

The girl that was decapitated? It was one of those fun boys and girls that like to drink blood. That means she was a vampire. She was probably killed for unrelated reasons. Like gambling or sending inappropriate messages to congressional pages.

Did I mention that Sean has a new set of wheels? They’re showing it to their new vampire hunting friend, Gordon.

This episode is getting nice and grisly. Industrial chain saws are a very messy way to decapitate someone or something.

Sean isn’t too happy with Sean having so much fun killing that vampire. Sean and their new friend are having fun while Sean goes back to the motel.

And just after Sean got warned that they shouldn’t hang around their new friend Gordon, he gets jumped by a bunch of vampires. Even after he was the responsible one and went back to the motel. Never go back to the motel. Either you’re going to get jumped by vampires or you will spend too much on soiled sheets.

As it turns out, these local vampires just want peace. They drink cow’s blood and leave the locals alone. That means Gordon has been murdering them simply out of revenge, not out of necessity. But if you murder out of necessity, it isn’t really murder anymore. It is self preservation or a pre-emptive strike. That is all totally defendable, right? I need to know, so I can kill this dude who looks at me funny.

Gordon hunts vampires because they took his sister. Then he killed his sister because she was a vampire. That’s cold.

These Cingular “Push to Talk” commercials make me want to kill myself.

Sean beat up Gordon and tied him up while Sean got the nice vampire lady to safety. It is time for Sean to drive into the sunrise, leaving Gordon to be untied by someone at a later date. I have a feeling that they haven’t seen the last of this angry angry vampire hunter.

Sean is burning their father’s dead body. What was his name again? Jennifer? Something with a J. Janice. Julia?

Getting a tip from their dead father’s phone, Sean takes a minivan to see one of their dad’s old friends in a rundown saloon. Here they meet a fellow named Ash. This isn’t Bruce Campbell, but a cut off sleeve wearing mullet rocker. Sorry, I take that back. No one can rock a mullet.

Back to the clown, it murdered a little girl’s parents but let her alive. Clowns hate adults. Everyone hates adults though, all oppressive and stuff.

A little boy with Nintendo DS in hand is walking around a fun house. He is totally playing Donkey Kong on his DS. That game is so not out for the DS. And now his parents are dead.

The clown ripped the parents to shreds. Shreds! That’s difficult to do, unless you are put through a combine or thresher or something.

The solution? Sean became a carnie! Seriously. That way they can sulk around the carnival and eat cotton candy from the trash without anyone giving them a second look.

Rock salt doesn’t kill clowns, but they sure don’t like it. No one likes being hit in the chest with rock salt. Actually, that probably isn’t true. But I’m not about to go into the darker regions of the internet to find this person.

The clown is some mythical Hindu thing. It eats human flesh and can’t enter a home unless invited in. The ultimate party guest, if you remove the first part about eating flesh.

The blind knife thrower is the killer clown. Obviously. Didn’t you learn anything from Ray Charles, the ultimate Hindu killer clown?

Wow, there was a two minutes battle with the clown and now it’s another commercial. I don’t like very much, the CW. I don’t like that very much at all.

Oh, the clown is dead. That seemed too be over rather quickly. Now they have ten minutes to talk to mullet man about demons and deal with their own emotions. I can deal with those on my own.

Dean is okay and walking around. Wait, scratch that. Dean is lying in a hospital bed, but he is also standing up and looking down at himself. Something, I dare say, isn’t right here.

Sam is okay, their dad is okay, and Dean suffered serious trauma. I can’t call them Sean if one is awake and one is in a little mini sort of coma.

Daddy Sean is worried about his precious gun, and not his dying son. That rhymes. Maybe a character will make a rap about it.

Ooooh, Sean’s dad wanted a bunch of supplies to summon a demon to the hospital, not ward it off. Poppy wants a showdown. And Dean just “Swayzed” a glass to the ground. If they are summoning a demon, that means someone could still die! Yippie!

“If I can grab it, I can kill it.” If someone ever says that to you, run away.

Dean has an almost dead friend to keep him company as he tries to figure out what is going on. There is a scary ghost who likes to be around dying people too. It doesn’t talk and also has breasts. So, almost the perfect women. Except it is a ghost.

Haha, just kidding. Ladies should be able to vote. I will see to it.

Sam just used an Ouija board to talk to Dean. It wasn’t like the pottery scene in Ghost, but what is?

Reaper! The almost dead girl that Dean is hanging out with is a reaper in disguise. This show likes to use pretty girls as bad guys in disguise.

Sean’s dad, you just had to go and summon the demon of all demons, didn’t you? He’s making a deal with the devil now. Literally. There are not too many times that that phrase can be taken literally.

Oh no, Daddy Sean is going to trade places with Dean! That will be his deal with the demon, and he will die! I’m calling that!

The demon just took over the reaper’s body, which is a no-no. No matter, Dean is awake. What of daddy? We’ll see if I am right, after the break of course.

Dean doesn’t remember anything that happened while he was out of his body, now that he is better. And daddy is alive. Boo, I hate being wrong. Almost as much as I coconut. Man, coconut is awful.

Pop Pop had to trade the magic “kill anything” gun to the demon to save Dean, but he had to do more than that. But what? What did he do? What is he doing? Why is he doing?

He whispered it to Dean! What did he whisper? Tell us!

He’s dead! I win! Now that is how you start a season. Are you listening to me, One Tree Hill? This show is great.

Meg, the demon’s skinny little messenger, has Sean’s father. It’s time to get ready for a big battle. Sean and Sean are getting help from their dad’s friends. It’s easy to catch a demon. You simply trap it in a special circle. I knew there was a reason I shouldn’t trust circles. I will no longer use the letter O.

The magic O trapped Meg! Good work, fellas. The windows and doors have been salted, so the folks inside can not get assaulted. That’s how I remember the salt trick. No it’s not. I’m lying for no reason.

Sean is super mad this episode! Lots a teeth gritting and deep voice talking. And the exorcism of Meg. You don’t do that because you think it would be a fun idea. This is serious business. Like deciding to get your ears pierced. You don’t just go to Claire’s and get it done. You need to sit down and talk your mother into it. You need to show that you can handle responsibility.

Meg is still alive, barely, after the demon is taken out of her. Whoops, now she’s dead. The demon was the only thing keeping her alive, after she was thrown out of a window and also shot. She probably drank some poison for the hell of it too. Who wouldn’t?

Who knew demons could be outdone by so many symbols? Just like someone who can’t do long division. Demons are the kids that try and cheat off of you in math class.

Now Sean is dressed like a firefighter. It’s a bulky outfit though. Sorry, ladies.

Sean found their father in an apartment building full of people. People that can and will be possessed by demons.

Two bullets left in the gun of magic. They should try some other magic tricks to try and stop these demons. Perhaps if they pulled a rabbit out of a hat. A rabbit made of rock salt and symbols.

Sean and their father escaped to a cabin in the woods. Whose cabin? What woods? I don’t know. It’s just there. Accept it, like you accept that something can come from nothing.

Too bad Sean’s father is possessed by a demon. That puts a damper on things.

The demon is going on in some dramatic monologue. This is a little corny. Sure, we’re getting some information out of it, but it doesn’t feel very intense.

There was some shooting. The big bad demon left the dad’s body as dad begged Sean to shoot him to kill the demon. Now the demon that killed Sean’s mother is gone like a Fox sitcom, swept under the floorboards.

Oh no! I didn’t see that truck coming, and neither did Sean. I hope Sean’s father died in the crash. I love the drama that is created when grand gestures, like not shooting your father to kill a demon, are negated. If only you could go back and pull that trigger, Sean! If only!

Still, only an okay episode for a season finale. The bad boys better bring it next week.

Salvation, Iowa, is where the next signs of demons are taking place. You see, before a 6 month old’s mother is pinned to the ceiling and lit on fire, a demon needs a week of cattle mutilation and electrical storm appetizers.

The Sean boy is looking for all the babies who will be 6 months old in the next week. While doing this, Sean gets a vision of the next demon victim. This is all while Sean is flirting with a pretty girl. The other Sean. The Dean Sean, not the Sam Sean.

Meg, the cute tool of the big bad demon, killed the priest at the beginning. I would have mentioned that before, but I didn’t remember her name. Meg is going around killing John’s friends. John is Sean’s father. He has a magic gun that can kill anything, and the demon isn’t a fan of that. You see, the demon is included in anything. So the gun could kill the demon.

Meg is splitting up the boys and their father, by forcing the father to Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. He has written a speech that he needs John’s thoughts on. With A-Coln taking up John’s time, Sean has to fight the demon by himself.

John brought a fake gun that sort of maybe looks like the “can kill anything” gun if you squint and have no eyes. Meg isn’t going to be happy. But who would be, with a demon inside of them? Maybe one of the Three Stooges. The fourth one.

How do you tell if a gun that kills everything isn’t a fake? Shoot something. If something survives, it’s a fake. Oh John, you’re in trouble now. But turning all the water in the warehouse to holy water saved him! Hooray John. But they slashed his tires. Oh John.

Sean saved the 6 month old baby and mother. Barely. There were lots of explosions and one gunshots. Now the magic gun has only three bullets left with which to kill everything. Can you kill everything in the world with three bullets? Let’s ask a JFK assassination conspiracy theorist.

Meg has their dad’s phone! Oh no! To be continued? Will she use up all his minutes or not? I’m nervous!

Join the discussion on this episode of Supernatural on the message board.

A quiet old man, sitting at a bar, doesn’t look too kindly on a pack of young people who stumble into the bar. It is because of the loud rock and roll that they love so much, and because they enjoy living through a nice knife through the heart. Who wouldn’t enjoy that? Knives suck.

Sean is on the case. They love living through deep wounds, be they emotional or the kind with blood and bone.

Surprise! Sean’s dad showed up. The old mauled man was a friend of his. It’s easy to say you are the friend of an old dead man. They aren’t alive to say “no you aren’t.”

The young punks were actually vampires. They are now in possession of a very important gun. I bet that makes all the other guns feel bad. Don’t worry, guns. You are all special in your own way.

Sean didn’t think that vampires existed. Not that they never ever existed, but because they were hunted to extinction. But they weren’t, just like the coelacanth.

Vampires seem like normal people, except for all the blood drinking. It’s our own fault, really. We could meet them half way. One weekend it’s a glass of red wine, the other it’s a chalice of B negative.

There are a lot of untrue myths about vampires, in the Supernatural universe. They are just fine with the sun. Crosses make a nice fashion accessory. Stakes don’t kill them.

That being said, taking off their heads ends their undead party. And that special, just like everyone else, gun? It might be able to kill anything. Even a small child’s dream of being an astronaut.

Vampires sleep in hammocks too. That might be a personal choice, like growing a mullet.

Once a vampire gets your scent, it has it forever. Don’t worry, though. A dead man’s blood is like poison to a vampire. So many rules! I can’t possibly remember all of this. I’m as good as dead.

There are a lot of emotions this episode, which is fine. I’m not about to describe them to you though.

Vampires are chasing papa Sean in his truck. Can you see vampires in your rear view mirror?

Wee-yow, that special gun does some damage to heads that get in its way. I’d hate to see what happens to tin can that crosses the gun’s owner.

Aww, Sean and their father each find a little more respect for each other. This means they’re going to hold hands and kill a big bad demon together. Maybe they won’t hold hands.

But maybe they will!

Some fool kids have stumbled upon what looks to be the cabin from Evil Dead. Since they were looking for it at night, they were wise and only brought one flashlight. I mean, they were stupid and only brought one flashlight. That is enough to combat a freshly hung corpse in the root cellar of Satan’s house.

As fun as it may seem, never go trick or treating to Satan’s house. He only gives out pennies and pencils.

Sean is starting a prank war with himself, which will add a nice subtext to the episode.

The kids from Satan’s house logged their thoughts at HellHoundsLair.com. The house eats women and hangs them. I think Jay-Z does that too. He might have a website somewhere.

Supposedly, the hell house belonged to a farmer who ran out of food or some such thing, so he murdered his daughters. That way they wouldn’t suffer by starving to death. I gather that the farmer lived before the time of DVD players, so he couldn’t rent Alive.

Sean ran into the HellHoundsLair.com webmasters at the hell house. They are doing their own investigation, and smoking pot. Not in that order. The other order.

Some random girl was dared to grab a jar from the hell house cellar. My heart is actually beating kind of fast. It is spooky. Then the dead farmer strung her up. He was laughing a little. The HellHoundsLair.com guys must have left some of their pot behind.

Sean uses his brain and brings one flashlight, but two shotguns. Two shotguns equal a billion flashlights. Now you know, incase you get a question like that on the SATs.

Aside from the short length of rope for hanging women folk, the farmer keeps an axe for the fellas. Emily Post probably wrote something about that in her etiquette guide.

The local record shop employee created the mystery of the hell house. He fabricated the first hung girl and the satanic symbols painted all over it. The dead farmer decided to stop letting the no good punks running on his lawn have all the fun, and helped himself to a heaping helping of terror.

Sam came out of the shower with just a towel on. Enjoy that, ladies.

The farmer came to life because of a symbol painted on the hell house wall. With enough concentration and belief, it has been known to bring golems and spirits to life. With the website, there is a lot of concentration and belief on the hell hosue. I wonder how I can hook Make Me Watch TV up with that kind of power. Can you folks believe me up a mansion? Thanks in advance.

The ghost changes according to what people read and believe on the website. Being the smart lad he is, Sean got the HellHoundsLair.com boys to put up a story about the ghost’s weakness on their website. This actually created the weakness in the spirit. That is smart writing.

The website crashed on the brothers, so the posted story didn’t take. Sean wasn’t aware of this when they went back to the hell house, guns blazing. Solution? Burn the house down. How can a ghost sleep when his beds are burning? How can he dance while the Earth is turning?

The episode ends with the HellHoundsLair.com boys driving off to a movie deal in Hollywood that doesn’t exist. We all feel like we’re doing that sometimes, don’t we? Awww, that’s deep. I know. I said it.

If your MP3 player stops working in the middle of a creepy ally, you run. It doesn’t matter if you look stupid. Just run. There is something after you. Monsters hate music. They really hate dancing. Especially Frankenstein. His joints are so stiff.

I guess it doesn’t matter if you run away from the ally. The smoke monster man will still paint the walls with your blood.

Sam and Dean, who I refer to as Sean, are posing as alarm system workers to find out more about the smoke monster. The thing tore this poor MP3 girl apart and stole her heart. Stole her heart in the bad way, where it gets taken out of the body.

The hitchhiker that Sam met when running away from Dean is in town. She actually speaks to demons in goblets of blood she collects from old men in pickup trucks. So, not the kind of girl you’d bring home to mother.

Sam, as taken as he is by the blood spilling girl Meg, thinks something is up with her. That is what is really nice about this show. The characters don’t play dumb for our benefit.

Someone is controlling a “demon of darkness.” You know, as opposed to a “demon of happiness and real looking fake flowers.”

Sam climbed up an open elevator shaft to spy on Meg, who was speaking into her favorite goblet of blood. Goblets are for drinking from, not making calls to demons. Unless you have a flat. Then you need to call for help somehow.

Both of the demon victims were from Lawrence, KS. That’s where Sean’s mother died, from what I can gather.

The brothers are hiding in the warehouse with the demon altar. There are also mannequins all over, which is creepy. The shadowy demons who ripped into the brothers is also a little creepy too. It’s a toss up, really.

The boys wake up tied to some supporting columns. It was a trap. Not for the boys though, for their father. This show makes me feel dumb, which is nice. I don’t see what is coming next, even though I should sometimes.

Is a girl all up on you and saying, “Let’s get married, let’s have a baby, let’s talk?” Just tip over her evil altar and invisible demons will come to throw her out the window. Problem solved.

Sean’s father showed up to say some emotional stuff and give the boys ice cream. Not really about the ice cream though.

It was still a trap! The girl didn’t die, and she led the demons to the boy’s hotel room. Rascally demons just don’t give up.

Shadow demons don’t like flares. Me neither. I’m all like, “No, I like it in this life raft. We’ve really bonded in the last few weeks at sea.” Flares ruin everything.

The boys and papa split, since daddy is more vulnerable when the boys are near him.

Close up on the girl at the end of the episode, and blackout. Another good episode of Supernatural. This show has a pretty good awesome to suck ratio.

Sam just dreamt about a man who got killed by his car and garage. Sometimes Sam’s dreams come true. Like this time! When the brothers finally get to the mystery man’s house, it is too late. He had been gassed. If your garage ever shuts and also your car starts without you and then the doors lock and also your key snaps off, break out your damn windows!

To get the family of the victim to talk, Sam and Dean dressed as Catholic priests. Don’t worry, they understand that it is wrong. But the garage is killing people. That can’t continue.

Did you know that the balding teenage son found his father in the garage? The receding hairline makes me think he had something to do with it.

Sam and Dean, or Sean as I will now call them, didn’t find anything wrong with the house. No sensor readings or anything.

Oh, hey. Another tip? If your window is mysteriously unlocking itself and opening? Don’t stick your head outside of it to see what is going on. You know that thing is going to come crashing down.

Sean is off to go save Roger Miller, the dead fellow’s brother, from his windowy fate. Yeah, I used windowy as an adjective. Deal with it.

The boys Sean showed up in time to try and stop Roger, but he wouldn’t believe them. Thus, windowy fate occurs.

The balding teenage son named Max seems scared of the family’s old house. The father and brother lived next door to each other, and took turns beating on Max. His step mother watched it all happen too. So Sam gets another one of his visions of Max levitating a knife and flying it through is step mother’s head.

This all leads me back to my earlier point. Never trust a balding teenager.

Sean got there just in time to stop Max from murdering his mother with a knife. But he got freaked out when he saw a gun in Dean’s back pocket. Never bring a gun to a knife fight. Wait, that’s not right.

There is still a large chunk of the show left. Sam, who was having the visions, is trying to talk Max out of killing more people. This seems like a lot of heart to heart for Supernatural. Is this one of those episodes that isn’t so great?

Max’s real mom? She died when Max was a baby. She died in his nursery. She was burnt up. While pinned to the ceiling. There is something fishy about that, but I’m not sure what.

Max just shot Dean through the head. In Sam’s vision, of course. Now Sam will use his new found telekinesis to bust free and stop Max. Hooray! Oh, but Max swung the floating gun around and shot himself in the head. Boo. He was a showoff anyway. I mean, the gun didn’t really need to be floating, did it? It’s a gun. It shoots.

The last 15 minutes of the show was just wrap up. Meh, that wasn’t the best episode. There was a good bit of scary violence, but the rest was a bit whiney. Do better next week, Supernatural.

Dean and Sam are chasing after something in some abandoned something. That something punched Dean into a puddle of water. While in the puddle of water, Dean decided to shoot the something with electricity as it was standing in the same puddle as him.

The electricity gave Dean a massive heart attack. The doctors are giving him a couple days to a couple months to live. That’s an interesting development.

So off Dean and Sam go to a faith healer in Nebraska. One of their dad’s contacts sent them there. Dean is pessimistic, Sam is optimistic. Those are opposites.

Dean gets brought up front, has healer hands laid upon him, and then blacks out. When he came too, I think he saw the G Man from Half-Life for a second before it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Ooo, the twist is that every time someone is healed, someone else is stricken with the illness that was taken away. The old man that disappeared is actually a reaper. A reaper! Dealing death in weird ways. This show is great!

The blind healer, name of Roy, has this reaper bound by black magic. Since the “specializing in getting into weird and dangerous situations” brothers won’t kill a human being and can’t kill death, they need to find a way to break the bind. I would lure the reaper away with delicious Ben and Jerry’s ice cream or promises of acting work.

Roy chooses the people he deems as immoral to die. Gay teachers, protesters, executives at the WB. It’s kind of ironic that way.

Mrs. Roy is actually controlling the reaper, which makes sense. Roy got better after his cancer induced coma. It would be hard to do that himself, with his coma and everything.

Now Mrs. Roy has decided that Dean should die and some other girl should live. You know, since Dean doesn’t appreciate what she did for him. Never piss off a lady with a reaper. Keep that in mind the next time you’re hitting on someone at a bar.

Be very careful of your bind with the reaper. If that bond breaks, you’re in for a hell of a time. Literally.

As soon as the show is over, a commercial for the local WB network blasts on. This has happened quite often after Supernatural. It yells “Sextra, sextra. Read all about it.” It wants me to watch Extra and Sex in the City. That commercial couldn’t get a dog to pee on a tree.

A young couple’s car breaks down in the country, and they go towards a light on a farmhouse. Like moths to the flame. On the way, the run into a scarecrow. It rips the flesh from the boyfriend’s face, and the camera cuts away as it murders the girl.

How would a battle between a scarecrow and a snowman end?

With the scary opening over, we cut to the mystery brothers. Their missing father calls them and tells them to stop following him. He found what murdered their mother. It was a demon. That seems convenient. Dr. Richard Kimble couldn’t even convince the police that a one armed man killed his wife.

The mystery men split due to an argument. One wants to go after their father, and one wants to follow their father’s orders and solve some more supernatural mysteries. Do you know what doesn’t help with solving your mystery? Stumbling upon a scarecrow and calling it “fugly.” As much as you want it to be the 80s again, never say “fugly.”

The scarecrow has the dead boyfriend’s tattoo. This episode had better not be a rip-off of Jeepers Creepers. That movie was only half good. It also starred a Mac. I mean, Justin Long.

Interestingly, the gas station owner has been telling couples passing through town that they have severe car trouble. He then sends them off “towards the interstate” at sun down. Just in time to break down by the scary apple orchard. That’s a good gig he has going on. Probably. I don’t know what he gets out of it. The pleasure of a job well done?

A shotgun doesn’t kill or slow down evil scarecrows. Word to the wise.

Excellent, this isn’t like Jeepers Creepers because there is a reason behind the horror. The scarecrow is being possessed by a Pagan god. The townspeople send a sacrifice to him, a male and female for signs of fertility, and in return they get healthy crops for another year. Horror wrapped in mythology. I like it!

Brother Dean figured out everything, and then got the butt of the sheriff’s gun in his face. You go snooping around, the sheriff is bound to drop you. Since Dean saved the last couple, a new sacrifice is demanded. Due to the short notice, the sacrifice will be Dean and the gas station owner’s niece. That’s tough choice, but people do need apples.

Brother Sam comes back just in time to save the day. Or almost save the day. The scarecrow has come to life and will soon be upon them. That means it is time for a strategically placed commercial.

The characters and emotions in the show are really good. The lack of emotion on the aunt’s part in light of the fact the her niece was to be sacrificed was absolutely chilling. I think Tivo needs to be instructed to record this fantastic show.

Oh townsfolk, you shouldn’t have stayed in the orchard to make sure the youngins were sacrificed. Don’t you understand that you make good sacrifices too?

The god’s power came from an ancient tree in the orchard. Pagans are all about nature and the like.

The tree burned, the brothers made up, and another episode is over. Everything is back to normal, except for one less tree.

Oh, and the subplot I didn’t pay attention to turned out to be important. That’s life.

The main characters mother died mysteriously, and it looks like their papa disappeared. This is all in the past. But really, does it ever leave you? With that little flash of back story, we enter a creepy and abandoned asylum. It’s haunted with the ghost of the insane patients. If you spend a night, the spirits will drive you insane. So the rumors go. Man, I hate asylums. Did you ever see Return to OZ? That was a messed up movie! I think it ruined my childhood.

Two policemen are looking around the asylum for teenagers who snuck in. Kids love to drink and spray graffiti there. One cop found the kids, while the other cop found something else. Something mysterious that makes his nose bleed and shoot his wife. It was probably cocaine.

The supernatural mystery solving brothers got a text message, supposedly from their missing father, with GPS coordinates. The coordinates? The asylum! Just so you don’t worry, the insane cop killed himself.

Dolls scare me too! Especially when they are headless and dirty. You’re learning a lot about my weaknesses tonight.

There is some bad mojo in the south wing of the asylum. What better way to find out what happened there than to get it from the son of the chief of staff? There was a big riot in the south wing, where the worst of the crazies were held. They killed a bunch of people, and not all the bodies could be recovered. Including our chief of staff friend. Ghosts hate it when their bodies aren’t found. They are all, like, “WTF LOL!”

A couple snuck into the asylum at night. The girl was hesitant, but her boyfriend adventured on. Pleased that she decided to follow him, they made out. Except it wasn’t her. It was something scary with long and beautiful hair. Maybe a giant haunted rat who has a great stylist.

This show does a fantastic job with settings and atmosphere. It makes Ghost Whisperer looks like the corn that doesn’t get digested on its magical journey through the human body.

The super brothers saw a few spirits, and found the girlfriend all on her lonesome. Then they found her boyfriend. Problems solved.

Oh, something just grabbed the girl. This show must be good. I got an eyelash stuck in my eye, by don’t want to leave to take it out. I don’t want to miss something good.

The ghosts aren’t trying to hurt anybody, they’re trying to communicate. Probably so their bodies can be found. That tears it. I’m getting that tracking device implanted in my skull. Also, I’m going to get that bionic eye.

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever enter a door marked “biohazard.” Ever!

Scary chief of staff ghost just tricked one of the brothers into the basement and grabbed his face with electricity fingers. I need to get me some of those too. Tracking device in my skull, bionic eye, and electricity fingers. Ooh! And a shotgun full of rock salt!

The evil chief of staff was experimenting with rage therapy on his patients. He has been continuing to experiment on the living folk that enter the asylum. Like one of the two super brothers.

There was a showdown with evil chief of staff who was really scary, but is now simply ash. That is comforting. Everything turns to ash. Except for mummies. Never get mummified!

Two guys with dark hair and medium weight darkish jackets are taking a road trip together. They’re not giving me much to differentiate between them yet. Nicknames will have to come later.

One of the guy’s friend’s friend is charged with murder. He read so on his palm pilot. Fine fine fine, names. There is Sam, who I assume has magic powers even thought I have seen nothing that would make me think that. Damn, I already forgot the other guy’s name. He’s a detective. I’ll call him Dick.

I think a girl is being followed by a demon. Or a guy with glowing eyes. I guess I’m showing bigotry towards people with glowing eyes. Please accept my apologies. It looks like glowing eyes can be in two places at once. That’s normal. That’s a normal thing for anybody to do. It has nothing to do with their cursed glowing eyes. Sorry, sorry.

One commercial for the CW network so far tonight.

“Every culture in the world has shape shifter lore.” I really am not up on my shape shifter lore. Unless you’re talking about that one guy on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. And even then, I’ll deny that I know about it.

The shape shifter is taking the form of certain people, and murdering other people. How do you kill a shape shifter? A silver bullet to the heart. That will solve everything. Especially past due mortgage payments.

The interchangeable crime solving duo broke into a crime scene and they are now crawling around in the sewers. If it’s a shape shifter, how are they going to know it when they see it? It could be that old lady, or that little boy, or that hairdo. The bouffant is killing people!

Surprise surprise surprise surprise surprise. The shape shifter shifted into on of the two crime fighting brother buddies. What a novel plot twist!

Two CW commercials. I can’t wait for the CW to come. It will tell me what to do.

The shape shifter gains all the copied person’s memories, and kind of lets them out unfiltered. That’s an okay twist. I say that without any sarcasm this time. I know, it’s hard to tell. Try and keep up with me.

Shape shifter is hanging out with the friend who had the friend that the brother friends were trying to help. Ummm, maybe if I drew a diagram it would help. Anywho, he’s going to tie up and try to murder this girl. Which is where we joined the episode at the beginning. Remember? It’s one week later now! Hooray!

The lonely shape shifter got away, and we get to see him shape shift. It looks a bit like a hemorrhoid trying to bust through a raw brat. Yeah, now you see what I see. Enjoy that.

Three CW commercials.

The hemorrhoid brat has successfully framed one of the brother friend brothers for the assault of that one girl. Now they are on the run from the law.

Surprise surprise surprise. The shape shifter is now that one girl. He tricked…Sam! I remembered a name! That calls for a reward, like a Hostess brand Cup Cake!

I can’t believe they didn’t try to pull the “no, I’m the real one” crap.

Four CW commercials.

Shape shifter is dead. Brothers friend brothers are having a heart to heart. They’re building character. That’s fair enough.

The show kept things interesting. I’d have to take another look at it to see if it was actually good or not, but it didn’t make me want to eat grass so I could throw up.