Here is the second episode of Project Runway in a row. That seems like uninspired voting, people. No matter, here we go.

This episode, the designers must use tiny dogs as their inspiration. It will be a women’s wear outfit that is built on narration. I have no idea what “narration” would mean in terms of a women’s wear. Oh, they need to design a matching outfit for the dogs they picked out too.

There bearded guy who looks homeless isn’t moving too quickly. Then, after his slow motion antics, he decides to scrap his current idea. That seems like a mistake, along with with not shaving.

Keith and the boring architect lady are having a spat. Is a spat less then a fight? Is it more or less than a tiff?

Bradley, the homeless looking fool, looks just like a Bradley should. His name fits him perfectly. He is totally loosing it though. It is also his birthday. Ouch.

Pugs are cute. I’ll admit that of my own free will, without my wife holding a gun to my head. She certainly could be off webcam with a bead trained on me. You will just have to trust me. Look at this smile. How can you not trust that?

Vera Wang looks like she should be shuffling around with slippers on in a room with no sharp corners.

Bradley’s last minute outfit was terrible! I don’t even know how to be a fashion snob, so you know that isn’t the issue.

That isn’t to say that crazy Angela’s outfit is better. A 13 year old trying to go out to the 18+ club might wear something like that. Heck, it isn’t even fit for the dog that inspired the outfit.

The judges liked Bradley’s outfit! Whew, that’s a relief. I was afraid that I was starting to understand fashion.

Angela survives another falling axe. In cartoons when an axe falls behind someone, then they turn around and the back of their clothes were chopped off? Maybe a little hair too? It was kind of like that.

With the onset of Make Me Watch TV, I have handily avoided watching Project Runway. My wife loves the show, so I have caught my fair share of episode. Not on purpose, of course. I do wear pants because I have manhood to conceal.

Tonight I am watching reruns of Project Runway. No matter, I have seen none of them. As long as there are giant personalities and giant personality disorders, I will be happy.

This week’s challenge put forth to the clothing designers is to fashion a dress for Miss USA, Tara Conner. Ooo, so close to Sarah Connor. Terminators probably wouldn’t mistakenly kill Tara. Machines have spell check, after all.

Some dude has words tattooed on his neck. That is a smart move that won’t hurt you in everyday life, like when ordering a sandwich at Subway.

The designers just teamed up to make their dresses. This is called putting a mongoose and cobra in a sack and then poking the sack with a firecracker.

Vincent, the guy with my glasses, got stuck with the annoying designer who “doesn’t sketch.” Her name is Angela, and she doesn’t understand Vincent’s vision at all. I’m not sure if she is the mongoose or snake yet. Maybe she is the sack and firecracker.

The skinny pale guy with slick black hair and an accent must be a vampire, for all the reasons I listed. Also, he sleeps in a coffin. He says it’s for his back. Yeah, right.

The vampire fashioned a dress out of a log. He swung his mighty axe and the dress was born. He also wrestled with his blue ox and created the Great Lakes.

Models are showing off the dresses to Miss USA now. The first one looked like a trash bag. The dress made from “wood” has one strap, so it looks like the model barfed on her shoulder and it ran down across her chest.

The mongoose, snake, sack, and firecracker are only spitting. I want to see some yelling and crying. Wait, do snakes cry? That should be the title of a mystery novel.

Kane won the contest. The vampire was “auf’d.” Everyone is prejudice against vampires.