Surprisingly, after three months of being forced to watch TV, this is the first time I have had to watch Holy Rosary with Mother Angelica on EWTN.

A bunch of nuns are falling asleep and chanting some religious whatzit. They are lead by their fearless and big cheeked leader, Mother Angelica. She looks a bit like that dog on Tom and Jerry. I think his name was Spike.

I’m not sure what purpose this show serves, besides creeping me out. A blank room full of nuns sitting down and chanting at nothing in particular is all kinds of scary. Maybe one of them is Eric Idle in disguise! I sure hope so.

If a Catholic out there would like to explain what a holy rosary is, don’t bother. I really don’t care. That’s knowledge I don’t need. I never plan to be on Jeopardy or win any game of Trivial Pursuit.

If these nuns were looking right into the camera, I would swear they were trying to hypnotize me.

Oh no! Someone just got murdered! Just kidding. They are all still sitting there.

This does sort of explain how some people see Jesus in tacos and in an oil stain under a bridge. If you can stare at something and drone on like this for long enough, your eyes are bound to try and make up something more interesting to keep you from going insane.

Another thing about this “show,” there are multiple camera angles. Multiple camera angles! Do you understand me? There is nothing to see! There is nothing to hear! Why is there even one camera, let alone many cameras?

There are DVDs of this thing! They are trying to sell me a DVD! So I can watch it again and again!

There was an explosion! Will Mother Angelica be alive next episode? What a cliffhanger!