It has been a few months since I have seen the Gilmore Girls. Just when I thought this knife that was removed from my body was gone, it is plunged back into my weak flesh. Stop stabbing me!

How quickly will I able to catch up the plot I missed? One tw….good. There I am. I guess all the talking is just a cover for the lack of real movement.

Today’s plot? Chicken pox. I wonder if Saved by the Bell ever did a chicken pox plot. I could be wrong. Maybe it was Family Ties or Home Improvement.

Rory is opening letters for her roommate. That’s the other plot. Actually, Rory is opening acceptance letters for her grumpy friend. She keeps getting into schools, which makes her grumpier and grumpier. Funny, my mood is moving the same way.

The volume of commercial on the CW is on level with the show. This is the exact opposite of the SciFi channel, which will destroy your eardrums if you aren’t careful.

Lorelai isn’t wearing a helmet while biking, after she broke her car by being stupid. I would have less of a head if I didn’t wear my helmet. Wear a helmet, boys and girls. It’s cool to be safe!

Luke and Lorelai are becoming friends again, after she and her husband divorced. I assumed. It’s a pretty safe assumption, since I don’t see him around anywhere.

This just in, from the CW, silk dresses are in! Thank you, faux commercial!

Lorelai and Luke are looking for a car. They are both annoying each other, but are too polite to let it really show. Which causes them to talk very quickly about more than nothing. Sure, that sounds like par for the course, but it really is taken up an annoying notch.

And another notch! And another notch! It’s like a severe weather siren that doesn’t reach a peak.

When an actress says, “I’m only 22,” in a scene and invisible milk squirts out your nose, that’s too bad for the actress.

Oh no! Rory didn’t get her reporting fellowship! I am so sad now because of television!

Scrubs is here again. This will look like pizza made of gold after this evening of hippo excrement. Yeah. That kind of excrement.

Hooray! I’m already smiling! Some excellent comedic timing so far. Thanks for getting me out of the grumpy dumps, Scrubs!

JD has given up his inner monologue to everyone else this episode. It is terribly goofy and awfully funny. Hmmm, terrible and awful aren’t the right words. Find and replace them with “really” please.

Many many plots going on at the same time don’t seem overpowering this episode. I don’t know what it is, but it’s being handled really well. Come on, brain! Work better! Find the formula that is making the funny!

1/4 of the evening was great. That’s a terrible ratio, but it ended on a nice note. Now I can go to bed happy. Thanks, voters!

Tonight’s viewing of Full House is sponsored by Anonymous. Anonymous torture? Now I don’t know who to shake my fist at! I guess the sky will do!

Ahhh, Michelle said “dude.” I forgot the overpowering sea of catchphrases that Full House is. You can’t even see across it.

Joey gets to open for Wayne Newton in Vegas. He doesn’t want his father there. What do the girls do? Invite his dad. Ready, set, situation comedy! Whoa, the first act just ended with Joey’s dad showing up. That seems a little quick.

Joey’s dad is disappointed that he is a comedian. Funny, that disappoints me too.

“Cut it out.” Drink.

Do Popeye impressions count as a comedy act? Don’t answer. It’s rhetorical. If you are a slow reader and answered already, apology accepted.

Joey and daddy are making up. How can I tell? The soft piano is swelling. That also means the credits are coming. That’s the best new I’ve heard all day!

Boy, you guys sure like Thursdays, don’t you? Let’s watch…Ugly Betty? Huh. That’s peculiar.

From what I can gather, this show is about a girl named Betty. If only there were an adjective to describe her appearance.

Five minutes into the show, and I have yet to see any relatable characters. Okay, I can put that aside. After all, I loved Arrested Development. Let’s see, let’s see. Something to like. Something to like. The over the top gay characters? Mmmmm, nope. Vanessa Willia…no. Story line about illegal immigration? No. Son of a gun, I think I’m screwed.

Woo hoo! Time for a hilarious attempt at a make over, Betty! This is sure to be trite. And…it was. Oh, you should have seen it. Everything she liked was crazy and ugly! I mean, can you believe it? And then her final outfit was just her original outfit, slightly modified. My pancreas just fell out of my split side!

How do you make a club scene look hip and trendy? Shake that camera!

I still have another half hour of this show? What can I use as a coping mechanism? Maybe if I slam my hand in a door, I can transfer the pain.

Oh no! Betty’s dad’s caseworker is a fraud! That can keep the threat of deportation going for the rest of the season.

Crazy ex-case worker is going all Kathy Bates on him. She has a sky blue tux for him to wear at their wedding ceremony. Sure, he could have busted through the screen door with ease. But we have another fifteen minutes to waste.

October Road? What the hell is October Road?

Statutory R? The show is a big barrel of laughs, isn’t it? Or is it a drama? It doesn’t seem like much of either.

Scrubs is on. Scrubs is Scrubs. I will be critical of it at first, then enjoy myself, and then be disappointed by the end. Just getting you ready.

Someone is dead. Someone was born. Now everyone is acting differently. Temporarily, of course. Funeral blues don’t last forever. Everything changes, but they tend to go back to the way they always were.

Eliot is being the best girlfriend ever. Dr. Cox is annoyed. There are some deaf people.

Emotions emotions humor emotions emotions emotions. Humor.

My beliefs in the NBC Thursday night lineup has been confirmed. So it goes.

30 Rock has changed time slots with Scrubs. As a result, it almost lost in the voting to Grey’s Anatomy. Let’s not look back on what might have been, but only what could be. This could be a fun half hour of television.

The plot has been developing while I haven’t been watching. Jack is in some sort of trouble. Liz has some sort of new boyfriend. Tracy is still crazy.

Tracy is pretending to be Thomas Jefferson. That’s all I need to be convinced that this half hour is hilarious.

As funny as these two hours on NBC are, I wouldn’t watch anything but The Office if I weren’t forced. Oh, and Andy Barker, P.I.. But that has already been canceled. Soooooooo, hmmmm. TV people suck.

Jack is trying to get between Liz and her new boyfriend. And…whatever. Thomas Jefferson!

The best show on television is here. Delivered to you, in a package none to heavy, is one quality episode of The Office.

Andy’s back from anger management! And he is calling himself Drew! Thank the good dude for hilarious cold opens.

Michael is being much louder and more ignorant than usual. Which makes me cringe and laugh and cringe some more.

Head thrown back in a fit of laughter at least once? Check.

The last few weeks, we have been seeing a lot more of Kelly and Ryan’s relationship. There is a lot more to it than we have been lead to believe. There are so many dimensions on this show, and their dynamics can be change only slightly for maximum results. The Office is an amazing machine.

Embarrassed by the constant dangers of the warehouse, Michael has decided to show how dangerous regular office work can be. How can he do that? By creating a visual aid for suicide. This, of course, turned into an almost real suicide.

How do you do it, The Office? How do you take these harsh topics with such perfect humorous twists?

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! How do you do? Let’s watch some TV!

It appears to be a standard Thursday here on Make Me Watch TV. Nothing but NBC, raining down on me. Maybe My Name Is Earl has gotten better while I haven’t been looking.

Earl and Randy pestered a local journalist in their less than desirable days. To make up for it, she gets the exclusive on Earl’s karma list.

“Bull weevils” are funny. There is one laugh. Thanks, Earl.

I’m not in love with the characters on this show any more. Randy is okay, when rationed out across episodes. Earl himself feels a little flat. And then the rest. You don’t want to be part of the rest. I won’t even name you then.

Oh yeah! Joy has some court thing that has been going on all season. Which is a nice idea, but we don’t really care. Sorry, I didn’t mean to involve you in this. I mean, I don’t really care.

Instead of doing a story on Earl’s list, the reporter turned it into a story about Randy being mentally retarded. Which he wasn’t.

Karma noticed Randy, just like he wanted. Everyone is happy. Especially me. Because The Office is on now.