Two hours of 24 might be the best possible way to start off a week. Goodbye Blue Monday!

I disagree that two hours of a one hour program qualifies as an “event.” But according to Merriam-Webster, an “event” is “something that happens.” Fine. It’s an event. Happy?

To catch you up on last episode, Papa Bauer is evil. Morris has been captured to make triggers for nukes. Got it? Let’s move forward, soldier.

Whoops. Jack’s evil brother is dead too. He and Hitler are having a big party right now. Streamers and candy. Poison streamers and candy. Regular candy.

And now, advice from Jack Bauer. “Hey kids, don’t have a landing pad for your helicopter? Why not use the top of two semi-truck trailers?” Thanks, Uncle Jack! He’ll be back later with some more great advice.

Evil Tom, the evil adviser to the terrible president, has an even more evil adviser to him. It’s like a giant Russian nesting doll of evil.

Milo is being beat up for his beliefs. His beliefs that he doesn’t want to make triggers for nuclear bombs. Those beliefs will change, in time. Until then, it’s lead pipes for Morris’ back!

Fayed just drilled in to Morris’ shoulder with a drill. That’s the breaking point. Another breaking point? Tortilla chips with no salsa. Who eats tortilla chips plain?

A fire alarm? That was your plan to smoke the terrorists out of an apartment building? Jack, I’m surprised. Maybe you need some sleep.

Morris is okay. Except he armed a nuclear bomb. So not only is he not okay, everyone is not okay. But Jack Bauer is there to disarm the bomb very carefully. But everyone is very disappointed in Milo. But when can you expect from someone named Morris? It’s almost as stupid as Milo.

I am terrible at math. I thought Fayed had two nukes left. He has three. D’oh.

Dammit, I just learned how to spell Fayed. Now I need to spell the name of his boss. Gredanco. Gridancko. Dang, it is Gridenko. So close!

Jack is sad because he thinks he killed his evil brother. It’s like pushing a witch into an oven, Jack. Let it roll off your back.

Milo is getting sent on a mission with Jack and evil brother’s wife. I see a 100% chance of Milo dying.

Also evil dad is taking not evil nephew to evil home of evil dad. Just keeping you briefed on who and what is evil. By the way, all houses are evil. Do you live in a house? Be careful.

See, everyone up in arms about Muslims being portrayed as terrorists? It’s the Russians using them. So they’re more evil. Does that make you happy?

I’m tired of explaining things. Let’s hear from Jack again. “Hey kids, Jack Bauer here. Remember to get your prostate checked yearly.”

Milo is following Jack into the ally behind a fake safe house. Milo is so going down.

Milo is actually doing some slick driving in what looks to be a converted UPS truck.

House exploded. Truck exploded. Things always explode. The end.