Lost finally brings us back to Locke and Mr. Eko, after their little Swan station fiasco. It did a good job of exploding or imploding. We’ll find out which.

Locke is lying outside, speechless, as a shirtless Desmond runs by. Charlie acts like nothing much has happened when Locke returns. And Locke still can’t speak. But, through a bit of charades, lets it be known that he must speak to the island. He didn’t even need to tell Charlie that it was a two syllable word.

How do you communicate with an island? Build a sweat lodge!

Oooh, and it is a Locke flashback episode. Do we finally learn how he lost the use of his legs? Hey, wait, “lost” the use of his legs? I think I have this show figured out!

Charlie is standing guard outside of Locke’s little sweat lodge. Why stand guard? Because dead Boone is paying Locke a visit. And then it gets trippier. Do you want me to explain it? Ummm, hmmm. How do I do this? Pretend you’re in a hospital that is actually an airport filled with your island buddies being pushed around by the man whose death you caused. Does that work for you? Out of that, Locke got that he needed to save Mr. Eko.

For some reason, Charlie is tagging along with Locke. You know, even after Locke punched him a bunch of times in the face last season. Locke believes that a polar bear took Mr. Eko.

It looks like the hatch did implode, as was my suspicion. There is no time for speculation on that now! Polar bears are after them! And then Locke threw a knife at Hurley. He is big like a bear, but he lacks the distinctive white hair.

In Locke’s flashbacks, he brought a hitchhiker to his commune. Oh yeah, he lives on a commune now. The hitchhiker is trouble. He thinks the commune folks are planning to blow up something because they have a greenhouse full of fertilizer. Maybe the hitchhiker isn’t really aware of what communes are.

My mistake about Desmond. He isn’t shirtless. He is naked. Hurley gave him some clothes that Desmond could make two outfits out of. You know, because Hurley is a big guy.

The hitchhiker is actually an undercover cop who has been gathering info on the commune’s little pot deal. Locke gets screwed over by everyone.

In other news, Locke sprayed the polar bear with fire and hairspray. And he found Mr. Eko.

And now we come up against the 20th commercial this episode.

Wait, hold on, can Desmond see the future now? He heard that Locke was going to go after Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. Locke said so in his speech. What speech? I believe it is a future speech. Future! And here is the speech! It is now the future.

Locke’s flashback ended with him letting the cop leave. That was kind of pointless. More people were beating down on poor Locke. That was about it.

It was still a fun and weird and crazy episode with polar bears and hallucinations. I’ll take it.