Finally, after months of reruns and uninspired summer filler, the networks are back with brand new shows! We can once again dig for our new favorites and feel comfort in our old standers. Let me see what we have here.

Oh. You voted for two hours of Dark Angel reruns. What is wrong with you?

Dog man and Alba are setting off bug bombs in dog man’s dilapidated house. He has fleas. Wait, that’s boring. Let’s pretend they are super genetically altered future fleas. Now we have a sci-fi show going on.

Jessica Alba who is Dark Angel whose name is actually Max spread a virus to her…boyfriend? He has glasses, does that help you? No, not Drew Carey. Did you know he had eye surgery? He doesn’t even need those thick glasses any more. What’s next, tooling around in a wheelchair because he thinks it looks cool?

Dog man made friends with a blind woman. Not Dog the Bounty Hunter. He is out on bail, and probably won’t fall in love with any blind women. Also, he doesn’t have fleas. Well, future fleas. Maybe regular fleas. Probably regular fleas.

Max is staying away from her boyfriend because she doesn’t want to infect him again. Dog blood cured him. Take that homeopathic remedy for what you will.

Oh yeah, Jensen Ackles of Supernatural is being charged with murder. Hey, some action. That’s what I like to see. Alba sprung Ackles. There were sparks and gunfire. It lasted almost a whole minute! Coming up soon, the action packed dinner between the dog guy and the blind girl.

Dinner isn’t exciting. Dry British sitcoms on PBS have proven that over and over again.

Jensen is laying low with the dog man. Oh dog, you don’t have a TV. How wacky and eccentric.

The police just shot Uncle Fester. Gomez is going to be so sad.

Do blind people really touch your face to “see” what you look like? That sounds like a TV myth, like mice enjoying cheese and police chalk outlines.

The episode ends on “love sucks” being uttered by Max. Max is a boy’s name. I think Max is confused.