I have a sinking feeling that I will hate Suite Life of Zack & Cody on the Disney channel. Is it because the episode started off with a toilet-paper-stuck-on-the-shoe gag? No, it is because it’s on the Disney channel. It also involves twins. I am quite prejudice against twins. I don’t trust them. Twins are always trying to find a way for one of them to bend down behind you while the other one pushes you over.

The twins are auditioning for A Midsummer’s Night Dream. What better way to hit on the hot middle school chicks? Wait, what? I don’t think I said that. Things get really hairy when their mother agrees to be the assistant director. It’s hard to look cool in front of the hot middle school babes when your mother is around. Wait, what again?

This show also includes Brenda Song, aka Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warriror. She is driving the subplot of transforming the hotel with feng shui. There’s a hotel now? When did this happen? Why aren’t any of the characters in these two plots overlapping? I think I’m watching two separate shows.

These middle school love triangles are really complex. They’re all really anxious to stick their tongues down each other’s throats. It’s very disturbing.