More Big Brother 7: All-Stars? Granted, it is one of the few things this summer that isn’t a rerun. Alright, alright. I hear what you’re saying. We’ll do it your way.

Last episode I saw was Chicken George and Doctor Will, my two favorite characters…I mean…players on a reality TV show, being put up for eviction. Chicken George pulled through like a trooper and won the power of veto. Taking himself off of the chopping block, Jase was put on his place. You remember Jase, right? The guy with the fake sounding name? Who would marry a Jase?

Jase and Will both made speeches about how they wanted to go. Both of them were lying, but Jase was just copying Will. The only good copy cat is that cat that was painting a pie chart in that one commercial. Do you remember that adorable commercial? Everyone loves animals that do human things. Need more proof? Mr. Ed. Hey, did you know that Mr. Ed was actually a zebra? It’s true!

The plague of the 21st century is the reality TV results show. Reality TV is just fine. It’s cheap to produce. There is lots of drama. If done right, it can be very entertaining. But think of how much time you would have back if you never watched a single results show! That’s about a month of your life! Sure, I didn’t use actual math to come to that conclusion, but it sure sounds like it might possibly sort of be true!

I was a vegetarian for a year just to prove to myself that I could do it. Do you think that attitude has something to do with letting people make me watch TV?

With a vote of 9 to 0, Jase got the boot. Damn, how can Doctor Will keep doing that? Don’t people understand that he is dangerous? He already won once with his tricks! Get it through your heads! Of course, I’d be sad to see him go.

Jase keeps saying he got “backdoored.” Backdoored? Man, I hate Jase.

It is time once again for the ever boring Head of Household competition. The houseguests are buzzing in and saying which word’s definition contains a certain other word. I was on the edge of my chair the whole time! You just can’t understand how exciting that was to watch! That was not a waste of time in the least! If I could watch anything all day for the rest of my life, it would be that.

Oh yeah, some girl with a name that starts with “J” won the Head of Household competition. I don’t care. It’s easier not to care. Then you don’t get hurt.