Are you ready for one of the worst dramas on TV? I certainly am not. That must mean it’s time for One Tree Hill.

It was a dark and stormy night. I guarantee you, that is how the hack scriptwriter started writing this episode.

There are plenty of “teenage” relationship things going on. Teenage is in quotes because I’m pretty sure everyone in this show is at least 34 years old.

The storm knocked out the power to the whole town. The mayor’s office was informed that the power wouldn’t be fixed from another couple hours. The mayor seems to like that fact. He’s up to something bad. If it’s not murder, I will be sorely disappointed.

Everyone in town has a million decorative candles about their homes. No one in real life has this many candles, let alone everyone.

This show isn’t giving me much of a chance at figuring out characters, when the “kids” look the same as the “adults.”

I wonder how long it would take to choke to death on a broom handle. That would be handy to know, if this show keeps up its terrible pace of twenty boring and uninspired plotlines at the same time.

Here is a neat little fact about me. I am terrible at judging volumes and people’s ages. If I need to put some spaghetti sauce in a Tupperware container, I will always choose one that is too small or way too big. I don’t even try with ages. It’s a lost cause.

Continuity issue! The exterior shot of a house had its outside lights on, but the power is out! Hah ha! Take that, show I hate! I will hold that over you forever!

Could the town of Tree Hill be considered a “hood?” Because then, all the “girls” could be considered hoodrats. They could change the name of the town to Hoodrat Hill. The double “H” sound is catchy, don’t you think?

What a terrible show! What terrible plots! When does a plot become a burial plot? I just thought that up. Do you like it? You can quote that. It is ever so smart and witty.

Oh no, you don’t bring The Replacements into your terrible plot! You leave Paul Westerberg out of this!

Thanks for the welcome back from my two days off with One Tree Hill, jerks.