Coming to you this Wednesday, the third in the continuing series that is Celebrity Remote. Our third channel surfer is actor, director, and screenwriter, David Wain.

Where have you heard that name before? Perhaps you caught The State when it was on MTV 13 years ago. Did you, by chance, see the wonderfully absurd movie, Wet Hot American Summer, which was written and directed by Wain? Then maybe, just maybe, you caught Stella on Comedy Central last year.

Seriously, you must have seen him in one of those places. Look, I’m telling you, you have seen him before. Quit arguing with me. We’re both working towards the same goal, this bickering will get us nowhere. We should just sit back and enjoy the scheduled that David picked out for me this Wednesday.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 – exactly 24 years and one month since my bar mitzvah.

7 PM – BLUE COLLAR TV – WUCW (8) – This is great because it’s like, “you know you’re a redneck if…” and then all hell breaks loose from there. Please drink a wine cooler during this broadcast.

7:30 – 2nd half of Countdown with Keith Olberman MSNBC – he’s the best! Like Jon Stewart but a little more serious – and super smart – LOVE HIM.

8:00 – Tour De France (68) – Watch a half hour of the biking. These guys have hot legs. Pumping the pedals. Round the corners. Muscles wet with sweat. Oh dammit I just jacked my spoo. Oy.

8:30 – So You Think You Can Dance – (9) – 2nd half – the only part that really counts. Please try to imitate the dance moves you see on TV. And dress for movement. Bowel movement. Just kidding about the bowel part. But not the movement part.