Coming to you this Thursday, the first in the continuing series that is Celebrity Remote. Our first button clicker is the founder of NERDCORE.HIPHOP. That’s right, boys and girls, the internet’s favorite lyricist, MC Frontalot.

Take a look at the instructions he has given me, as the MC attacks my remote control with mad beats. Mad beats? That can’t be right. MC Frontalot isn’t wack enough to have mad beats.

Regardless, feast your eyes on his brilliant and evil schedule below.

7:00-7:30

You must flip incessantly between “100 Most Shocking Moments in Rock & Roll” on VH-1 (52) and “Shocking Behavior Caught on Tape” on The WB (23). In the future when every single person on earth is a rock star, these will be THE EXACT SAME SHOW. For now, compare and contrast. Do not spend more than three minutes at a stretch watching either show. Use an egg timer.

7:30-8:00

You have three options! Watch the second half hour of whichever of the “Shocking” shows was trashier OR watch last night’s Colbert on Comedy Central (50). But if you do that, you have to flip back to the “Shocking” shows during the commercials.

8:00-8:30

Watch some “World Series of Poker” on ESPN (64). The first time someone folds a hand with a King or an Ace in it, switch to “The Lost Boys” on Bravo (42). If you have switched just in time to hear the sax solo in the night party scene, my apologies. That is a terrible sax solo. If on the other hand you are just in time to see Kiefer Southerland play the old Chinese food switcharoo, congratulations. That is the best scene in the movie. After Michael drinks the Chateu D’Blood, switch to “Ten Commandments” on The History Channel (38) and watch that until the half hour is up.

8:30-9:00

You get to watch The Office on NBC (11). You’re welcome. I assume it’s a rerun, so if you’ve already blogged about this episode go ahead and watch “Friendship Set to Music” on channel 19. I don’t know what that is, but I bet you’ve never seen a whole episode of it before.

SPECIAL EXTRA CREDIT
9:00-9:30

Watch the season premiere of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on FX (48). The first season was the bestest thing on basic cable. So I have high hopes.