Excuse me if I spend this whole episode of Doctor Who with my hands raised above my head. You see, this episode contains thousands of screaming spinning metal extermination Christmas trees. They are called Daleks. That is easier to write.

The Doctor is very excited to wipe the Dalek race from existence. I am excited for him. It’s nice to see someone who enjoys their job so much.

The Daleks are a little like parrots. They catch on to one word and repeat it over and over. Scream it over and over, actually.

In the past, the Doctor already destroyed the race of Daleks. Their leader survived and created a new race of Daleks out of human remains. And so, the Daleks are now a creepy mixture of an emotionally alien vacuum and absurd human ideals. Don’t worry, they still yell “exterminate” a lot.

Rose, the Doctor’s companion, looks jealous of the new Rose. Jack just kissed the Doctor full on the lips too. What a weird minute.

The Doctor and pals are back on Satellite 5, ready to hold off the Daleks while the Doctor tries to make the satellite into a big delta wave transmitter. What does that mean and how does he do it? Never mind that. Just think, “Him turn space thingy into big space fire stick.” Now you’ve got it.

Awww, the Doctor is sure they are going to die, so he ejected Rose and the TARDIS back in time to save them. He swore he’d protect her, and he has. The TARDIS…er…time space machine is never to return to the Doctor. What a turn of events! Screaming metal boxes and sacrifice. Cool.

As it turn out, the Doctor can change the station into a blowy uppy thingy to blow up every Dalek in existence. Unfortunately, it will blow up future Earth too. So all Daleks will die, and some colonies of humans will live on elsewhere in the universe. Wow, that’s a big blowy uppy thing he’s making. That’s like punching someone so hard that their grandchildren feel it.

Go go Dalek army! Think of how much cooler this would be if the computer graphics were better? Oh well, no bother.

The first wave of humans were exterminated pretty quickly. They aren’t giving the Doctor much more time to make his super death ray of death.

Awww, the Daleks killed the future robot The Weakest Link lady. Oh, and all the humans that were too cowardly to fight. Sorry, this paragraph just can’t make much sense.

The wannabe Rose just got sucked into space after the Daleks shot out the window she was “safe” behind. In case of an emergency, treat everything like a tornado. Stay away from windows. Get in the tub and put a mattress over your head.

Jack just got exterminated. Rose is on her way back in the TARDIS. The Doctor isn’t quite done with his doom death disaster death ray. Commercial.

Rose became one with the time vortex and destroyed all the Daleks. She also brought Jack back to life. And then some weird stuff happened with some light. I am starting to distrust light. Maybe those goths have it right.

The Doctor absorbed all the energy in the time vortex to save Rose. His body is failing. Which means he’s evolving! I never quite got this Doctor evolution thing. I suppose I won’t really find out how it works until next season. The Doctor is someone different now. That’s all I know.

Not a bad episode at all. A bit too much thinking, but beyond that, enjoyable. Exterminate!