It is time for the episode of Lost that “changes everything.” I have no right to be sarcastic, because I have been excited to see this episode for the last week!

The sailboat is Desmond’s. He must be rich! Just kidding. He is just drunk and holding a shotgun. That’s almost as good as being rich.

The flashbacks this episode revolve around Desmond. It starts with him getting out of a military jail, and some stuffed shirt putting money in his lap and telling him to stay away from his daughter.

Mr. Eko and Locke just came to blows! Really, Locke didn’t stand much of a chance. Locke wanted to stop the button from being pressed, and Mr. Eko wouldn’t have any of that. Like a bouncer at the loneliest club in the world, Mr. Eko ejected Locke.

Sayid is taking Desmond’s boat around the island to check out the Other’s camp, to get ahead of Michael’s crazy party.

It looks like Desmond has some Darmah Initiative brand vodka. Russians! The Others are Russians!

Turns out that the sailboat actually Libby’s. You see, she gave it to Desmond for a race around the world to win money from Mr. Stuffed Shirt and win his girlfriend back. Of course!

With the cast of merry men and one woman trekking across the island, a bird just swooped down at them. Hurley thinks it said his name. It was not a parrot. It did look very CGI though. Jurassic Park style years old CGI.

Locke is recruiting Desmond to stop Mr. Eko from pushing that button. That will give us answers. And plenty of questions.

Feeling left out, Jin, Sun, and Sayid are having their own little exploration party on Desmond’s sailboat. What have they found so far? The remains of a giant stone statue created with only four toes. Must be The Simpsons.

Desmond had a neat trick up his sleeve. He made the blast doors in the hatch close, trapping Mr. Eko. We’re getting closer and closer to letting the button go.

We also got our first glimpse of the hatch monkey that was around before Desmond. He is a grumpy older man. Hooray! It must be House, M.D.

Michael just confessed to leading his party into a trap because Jack forced it out of him. They turned around and headed back to their camp. Just kidding, that would have made sense. They are still moving forward.

Mr. Eko is super cheesed off at Locke. He got Charlie to show him some dynamite and he just tried to blow open the blast door. The keyword here being “blast.” He might have just blown himself up.

Sayid got to the Others’ beach and all of the huts were empty, of course. But what is this? There is only rock behind their hatch door! Michael isn’t even leading everyone to the beach! The Others just drugged everyone in Michael’s little treachery party. Judas!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and all those tubes full of info from the Pearl hatch? They all just end up in a pile in the middle of nowhere. It’s the island’s version of TPS reports.

Desmond thinks he crashed the plane! The day the plane crashed, Desmond didn’t press the button in time. Electromagnetic fields were flying all over, and possibly even pulling our survivor’s plane down. And here we are, thinking the button was all fake.

The hatch buttons didn’t get pressed, all hell broke loose, and Desmond sacrificed himself and clicked the self destruction key. Then the hatch blew up with Locke, Mr. Eko, and Charlie in it.

I thought that was the end of the season, until I looked up and saw that there were 15 minutes left. Really? They’re going to mess with us even more?

Michael and Walt are free and have a boat. Jack, Kate and Sawyer are captured by the Others headed up by Henry Gale. Charlie is safe. Mr. Eko and Locke are M.I.A. Hurley is on his way back to camp by order of the Others.

Oh yeah, and some guys playing chess in the arctic got an alert that there was an electromagnetic anomaly. Of course, they called Desmond’s girlfriend, who has been looking for this anomaly. What?

Do you have any idea about what is going on? Share your thoughts over at Make Me Watch TV’s I Solved Lost.