C-SPAN. That is right, I am watching C-SPAN. Some voters out there think they are pretty smart. You think you have beaten me? Balderdash! Poppycock! I will find a way to enjoy C-SPAN.

When I first tuned in to C-SPAN, they were putting forward a resolution to recognize firemen. It passed. Firemen were recognized. This is not anything like what I learned in my 12th grade Government class.

Actually, the only thing I remember from that class is gerrymandering and filibustering. Things need more interesting names if I am to remember them.

C-SPAN is kind of like the fish tank at the dentist’s office. Except the fish have political parties and they each get to speak for a minute at a time.

One of the fishes talked about the voting rights of the people in New Orleans. Since they are kind of spread out all over the country, it was about getting their voting ballots to them. Hey, that is a good idea. Everyone needs to vote. Good work, talking fish!

Now they are recognizing fishes for five minutes each. The first fish to talk for five minute is Rep. Lynn Woolsey. She looks like she is harmless. I think this fish has something up her sleeve. She is probably the bad guy. She also speaks like Joan Cusack, which is throwing me off a little. The plot is thickening.

There is a lot of talking about recognizing people. War veterans, girls basketball teams, and firemen. This seems like the place where your 15 minutes of fame go to die. You were recognized by the U.S. House of Representatives? Sorry, kid, you are all washed up.

Fish Rep. Jim McDermott just made up a word called Repocracy. You see, Repocracy is the opposite of Democracy. At least this fish has a little enthusiasm behind his voice. You can that tell he thinks he is really witty. He is the Dave Barry of the U.S. House of Representatives.

He is also rhyming like a mix of Johnny Cochran and Dr. Seuss. He is a jolly fat sprite. I would watch a show starring this guy.

Take that, voters! I made it through a half hour of C-SPAN! Can you not do any worse than that?