Take a left at the next corner and pull into The O.C.

Uh oh, time for a montage of what happened previously on The O.C. That did not tell me much of anything. Lots of quick talking and moving pictures.

In this episode, the college acceptance letters for the kids at the O.C. are coming in. There is also some heavy petting. Some dude is wearing a heavy coat. Silly man, you are in California. Do you see why this is supposed to be a funny thing?

That’s right, Phantom Planet does the theme song to show. My improv partner’s daughter comes running and dances in front of the TV whenever the theme song plays. That is adorable. There should be more dancing to theme songs. It is time to start the trend. Do it when you are watching TV with your friends!

Now two girls are talking. They are being nasty and sarcastic to each other. You do not see that in many TV shows. That is, if no TV shows are all TV shows.

“I want this hospital built more than anything.” That is a pretty good line to help shove plot down my throat. Now I know what is going on with Heavy Brows. You know, the guy with heavy eyebrows.

We will be spending a lot of time hearing about the college letters arriving. When will they actually arrive? After some more heavy petting, of course.

Oh no, one of the girls that was being sarcastic threw her college acceptance letter away. That probably speaks volumes about her as a person. I do not think the garbage can could tell she was sarcastic as she threw away her acceptance letter. Garbage cans are inanimate objects.

Parka guy, a parka is a heavy coat, did not get into Brown. But he lied about it! To his girlfriend! And what I can only assume is his brother! I have a feeling that lie will catch up to him since his girlfriend got in to Brown. She may have some questions about why he is always hanging out in the quad.

There is some goofy song playing over and over during the show. It is starting to piss me off. Were they unable to license any more popular and cutting edge songs for this season?

Sarcastic girl slept over at half naked biker’s pad. They did not show anything, but I assume there was more heavy petting involved.

Would you believe this show is easier to follow than 7th Heaven?

Parka and brother are having a “getting into college” party. Of course, all the popular characters will be there. Things are going to do down. Probably no heart attacks though. I hear those were taken care of last season. Twice.

The party is actually a polite dinner party. That will be better for the juxtaposition of all the lies that come up. Parka passively broke up with his girlfriend so she would not feel bad about going to Brown without him. That is a wimpy way to take care of things. He should have beat his chest and thrown her out of the car.

Parka’s brother set Parka straight. He called him on his mistake. He seems reasonable. I am probably wrong. I will name him Reasonable anyway.

Damn it, there is that goofy music again. It is accompanying some “hilarious” Gilmore Girls style conversation.

Reasonable looks and talks like he is 25. It is time to Google his real age. Haha! He is a year older than me! 27! That is pretty old to be getting college applications back. How long was that application process? It is odd, because he seemed younger in the movie Junebug.

The sarcastic girls are talking about why they are not being open with each other about their feelings. I have an answer for that. Maybe, just maybe, they hide their emotions in a cloud of sarcasm. That may be going out on a limb. I like to take risks on my observations.

Whatever happened to that hospital building business? They have not mentioned that for a good half hour.

All the “kids” are at a sweatshirt party. You see, they are all wearing the sweatshirts of the colleges they got in to. At first, a sweatshirt part sounds really lame. The more you think about it, the lamer it sounds. Hey, Sarcastic Girl mirrored what I just said. There goes my biting and witty observations.

10 minutes left and there is hospital talk. That sounds about right.

Parka wussed out again. “I don’t know if I really want to go to Brown anymore.” You can hear his balls falling off and burying themselves six feet under.

Everyone is breaking up with each other! Parka. Reasonable. Sarcastic girls.

Now it is time for a montage of everybody, probably leading to one last revelation to make us watch next episode. Damn, last no revelation. I thought I was being smart. Oh well.