The Doctor Who fans have come to the polls in full force and voted their show to the top yet again. While this show will not have a screaming robot, probably, it might have some more grand entertainment.

The Doctor and his, ummmm, the girl he hangs out with are going back in time to see her father before he died. She never knew here dad, so this will probably be emotional. Or goofy. The Doctor seems to have no problem in messing with time. Not when he has a magic police box.

We will call the girl the companion. The companion wants to be there when her father dies from a hit and run driver so he does not have to die alone. She chickened out the first time, so they had to go back and do it again. Of course, the first set of her and the Doctor were there from the previous time, so they had to be careful. Guess what? They were not careful. She actually saved her dad, and their other pair disappeared. Did you catch that? Yesh, it must be tough to explain that in a script. They probably had diagrams.

We have ourselves a time paradox. Every movie and TV show seems to deal with the time paradox differently. It will be neat to see how Doctor Who deals with it. Or rather, it had better be neat.

The Doctor is not happy with his companion. He knows how to handle time travel, she does not. He has gone off in a huff while companion girl stays with her dad. Now there are some red violins flying around killing people. Or violins that see red. Or not violins at all. They sure sound like violins. They certainly see red, whatever they are.

Now the TARDIS, er, police box is empty. It has lost its magic. It probably runs on science and technology. It is easier to say that the magic is gone. Surely the violins are to blame.

I am guessing that companion’s now alive dad makes time traveling killer violins.

Something transported the dad-killing-car to a different time and place to try and kill him again. It is hard to blame violins for that. Perhaps my anger is misplaced.

Oh no! Companion’s dad plays around on his mom and is a real ass. My new guess is that these are killer rose colored glasses coming back to kill everyone. Not to be confused with Rose, the companion. She is actually a pasty tan.

Hey, it’s not violins or glasses at all. It is flying gargoyle insect dinosaur monsters. I should have guessed that.

These monsters are coming to sterilize the time wound by eating everything in it. That is an unexpected way to solve a paradox. It sounds like something your parents would tell you. Don’t mess with time, or else the time monsters will eat everyone.

The Doctor is looking over baby Rose while older Rose is standing next to him. If she touches baby Rose, that makes the monsters stronger due to more and more paradox fun.

The Google ads sure like to advertise “The Fart Button.”

Ah ha! Magic! The Doctor is making the TARDIS appear from its magic key that is floating in the air. See, magic.

Now older Rose touched baby Rose and made a monster appeared. It ate the Doctor, flew into the materializing TARDIS, and disappeared or exploded. That probably was not the plan.

Now Daddy is going to step in front of the car that should have killed him. Will that put everything back to normal? Hopefully not. Just a little more normal, with quirks. There must be consequences. I demand consequences!

Excellent, things are not put perfectly back to normal. Thanks for not wimping out, Doctor Who. You work well, even if you do not include a screaming robot.

The votes have shown that Yo Momma is so fat, that I will have to blog about her. No, that is terrible. Maybe this show will teach me how to properly insult someone’s mother.

On the street, they call it “trash talking.” Not “insulting.” If you are going undercover in the hood, never say the word “insult.” The residents of the hood will find you out.

This episode features the best trash talkers in Orange County versus the talk trashers from Echo Park.

Here is one of the worst insults. Whoops, I mean trash talks? That’s not right. Whatever it was, it was “why don’t you snap up your shoes?” Snap! Oooooh, snap!

You see, the show starts off with each hood battling their own for the chance to take down the other hood. This is so much like my own life it is scary.

The winners from each hood get to go in to the other’s “crib” to get some dirt on their opponent. I know what you are thinking, but it is not actually a crib. It is just what the hoodies call their place of residence.

Why the hell does this show exist? Didn’t we already get these “jokes” forwarded to us by email in the 90s?

That 70’s Show is sponsored by Melissa Leach, who is doing the saintly thing and saving me from watching Ghost Whisperer for the fourth week in a row.

Having only caught a few episodes of this show, I already have opinions formed about it. This show is just alright. It is certainly not a horrible show, but I have never put in the effort to watch it on a regular basis. I do think Topher Grace is very funny and very talented. Plus his name is Eric. Which is very close to Aric.

In this episode, Donna gives Eric a man ring. Let the comedy based upon a situation start!

There is something wrong with the sound on my FX station. It sounds like everyone has sucked in helium. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks are performing a very special episode just for me.

Not much is going on. They keep saying “man ring” a lot. A show can not get by on “man ring” alone.

Nothing makes me want to trade with E*Trade more than computer mice that look like sperm. Sperm equals online investing.

This show bores me. That is probably why it never carried my attention. But it is better than watching Ghost Whisperer.

Without Tohper Grace, this show has nothing. He simply outshines everyone else in the cast. Which makes their last season truly graceless. Huh? Huh? You like that? Probably not. But on that note, the episode is over!

Hooray for a new episode of The Office. I have to imagine you wonderful people voted for this show because you like it. You are correct for liking it. Kudos to you for your good taste.

The episode starts of with Dwight finding half a joint in the parking lot. Now he gets to interrogate everyone in the office. Which, of course, will lead to hilarious situations. Of course Dwight is in full police getup.

This show is “throw your head back” funny. Perhaps the camera will catch this. My mouth wide open like an idiot, and head thrown back laughing at the antics of The Office.

This show relies on great characters. If it were just a show in an office, boring. If this show were just catch phrases and blatantly unfunny talk about sex, it would be like any other sitcom out there in the world. The solid and diverse character work makes this show one of the best on television.

I am constantly laughing at this episode! I am glad that I don’t get punched every time I laugh at The Office. First, I would be dead. Second, whoever was punching me would get very tired. Third, I would be dead.

And it is over, just like that! With so many shows, I am watching the clock count down bit by bit until the show is done. For The Office, it came as a surprise because I was enjoying myself so much.

Thank you for voting for The Office. It made up for the Gilmore Girls earlier this week.

Now it is time for Full House, sponsored by Would You Like Fries With That?

Hey, it’s the Olsen twins! Hot! Wait, no. No, not hot. Never hot.

My former roommate had a game he played with Full House and his brother. If you laugh, you get punched. That includes laughing at Full House in an ironic way. Today I will be punching myself if I laugh.

Jesse is going to his 10 year high school reunion. Which put his age at about 27. Yeah, I call B.S. on that.

Danny is making jokes to a dog. Joey is singing “Happy Birthday” like Scooby Doo. I forgot how much Joey annoys the piss out of me.

Haha, and Jesse is obsessed with his hair! How funny that a man likes to primp. Every episode. I can not wait till he talks about his hair again next episode!

I am afraid that, if I open my mouth, I might laugh. But keeping it shut tight makes it feel like I am holding something in. Man, what a terrible show!

How did the Olsen twins ever learn how to talk? They sound like they have a mentally challenged frog in their mouths.

Oh yeah, Danny always gives a speech to help whoever is having the problem in the show.

The girl Jesse used to date in high school has huge eyebrows! They are like a Muppet’s eyebrows!

Life needs a soft piano to swell up as delicate speeches are being made. Oh, I guess it is synth pianos. Synths sound so great and 80s!

Thank goodness Full House is only 30 minutes long!

It was a very close battle for the 7pm hour today. Survivor: Panama-Exile Island was tied with Walker, Texas Ranger and La Fea Más Bella. In the case of a tie, I get to choose the winner. Of course, I chose to watch Survivor: Panama-Exile Island with my wife. You folks need to get it together. One more vote would have clinched it for either show. Get your friends to vote next time. Okay? Alright.

Last time we saw the survivors, Bruce had left the show due to an abundance of poop. My only hope for this episode is to see some crazy psycho Shane goodness.

How soon my wishes are answered! Shane found a piece of wood that looks like a Blackberry. Now he is texting people not on the island. That is fantastic! That is how insanity is supposed to work! Okay, Survivor gods. My next wish is that something bad happen to Shane’s “Blackberry” and he goes on a witch hunt to find who did it.

Yet another Survivor challenge we have seen a million times. The survivors are clipped to a rope and must wind their way through an obstacle course. Hey, “a gust of wind.” “I will wind the rope.” Why are wind and wind spelled the same? Lazy dictionary people.

Now they are doing another challenge for a car. No one who has won the car has won Survivor. That does not interest me. What interests me is they are doing the “slingshot to break plates” challenge they have done every season. Come up with an original game! I will blame it on host Jeff Probst. You can only make one anagram from Jeff’s name. Jeff PBS rot. Huh. It isn’t much of an anagram if one of their names stays the same.

My name as an anagram? I’m a crow neck.

Terry, the pilot, just said “we were airplaned off the island.” Airplaned off? Good work with your lingo, pilot.

You don’t hear the word “bosom” too often these days. But you know what? Cirie has a huge bosom. She doesn’t have breasts or a chest. That is a bosom. It weirds me out.

They are doing a challenge where you have to hold on to ropes above your head that are attached to X percent of your body weight. I think this challenge is just to show us how much armpit hair the ladies have grown.

Terry just won his fourth straight immunity challenge. He also has his hidden immunity idol. Terry has a car and immunity. Do you know what he does not have? A Blackberry. Shane will always have that to hold over him.

Blah blah blah, lots of boring talk until they get to the vote.

Annoying Courtney got voted off. As long as that leaves crazy Shane, I am a happy lad. Let’s see him text message his way out of this broken alliance situation.

Now it time for a stupid Lost special. A clip show to catch people up, really. It is also an excuse not to make another new episode. Have networks not realized that clip shows piss people off?

However, as slow as the new episodes have been moving forward with the plot, a clip show will probably advance things as quickly as anything. Are you listening to me, J.J. Abrams? Either make movies or make TV shows. You are obviously spreading yourself too thin.

I have watched every episode of Lost. I have been more impressed with it than I have been disappointed. The ratio is really getting close though.

There is a narrator on this clip show. This is rather like March of the Penguins. Soon he’ll say, “Some will not make it through the harsh winter weather.”

This episode is for the irresponsible. You have not bothered to catch Lost until now? Too bad. Buy the first season and download the rest from iTunes. Do not waste the time of people who have been faithfully following the show, through good and bad.

This makes me fear summer and its reruns. Will I be forced to watch the same TV shows I have already seen again and again? That would be boring and lame. I might have to think of some rules so that does not happen. I think I’ll sleep on it.

Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored.

I know, I will make words from the names of characters on the show.

Jack Shephard = Jerk had chaps
Sayid Jarrah = Sad hairy jar
Claire Littleton = Tailor intellect
Ana-Lucia Cortez = Actual Nazi core
Kate Austen = Kate eat Sun
Michael Dawson = Whale clam soda

Whale clam soda. Yum!

By overwhelming majority, tonight we watch Alias. Take note, Veronica Mars and Doctor Who fans. This is how you rally together and support a show. What I am saying is, pick up the pace!

We start off with Mr. Sloane, a fellow I remember seeing last week. Do I remember anything about him from last week? No. Some shadow group has his daughter, and he must do one more task to get her back. I think they need him to do one more task, and then kill him.

Meanwhile, the girl who almost got killed by a fire extinguisher is hiring someone in an off the records jail to get rid of DAR. I mean, Sydney. This big lipped and grumpy prisoner seems pretty damn tough. Her lips are bigger than those of Angelina Jolie’s. They are like two very dense clouds that are getting ready to implode in on themselves. She zapped some fellow in the chest for some reason. I was on the verge of recognizing him. Thanks a lot, Big Lips.

Mr. Sloane reminds me a lot of Bob Balaban. I will call him Bob.

The shocked guy was named Will. Is named Will. I guess I must have seen him last episode. After all, I did see a lot last episode. There were two hours of it.

To follow up her five minute birthing, Sydney is now off of maternity leave in a mere five weeks. These things come in fives. Will she retire in five episodes?

I am fully expecting Sydney to be a little more badass this episode. After all, she is no longer spying for two.

Seriously, though! Marshall has a giant head! Don’t even try to deny it.

Syd is sneaking into a Moscow party. I am not sure why she and her spy buddies are there. I probably just missed it while I was trying to eat food.

Ahh, they are looking for Will. Then they found him. Too easily. It was a trap, of course. Super spies should know better than that. I think Big Lips infected Syd with something. My brain is trying to wrap itself around the many people watching many different things behind many different TVs.

Ah HA! Will was on Kitchen Confidential. That was not a terrible show. It was better than The Loop.

Everyone is now back and “safe” from Moscow. There is some business with isotope transfers. The bad guys also put a bomb in Will’s head. A bomb in his head? That is pretty awesome. I think I am coming around on this show! And you thought cell phones were going to destroy your brain.

Big Lips is getting Syd on a train with page 47 of some book. This page predicted the coming of Syd, and the great deeds she will do. I wish I had a book like that. I want to see what I am going to do in the future. Besides die, of course. I already know that part.

In exchange for the magical page 47, they are supposed to get the codes to turn off Will’s brain bomb. That sounds like a fantastic drink. It would probably have rum and pineapple juice in it.

While Syd fights with Big Lips, Will’s head starts beeping. That is a tough situation. Big Lips got away with page 47, Will did not explode, and Syd is trapped in a room while doing a scene from Carrie.

The red shower that is covering Syd is collecting her DNA. I have a feeling that they are going to do something bad with it. Bad guys usually do not do nice and decent things with people’s stolen DNA.

From what I gather, they are genetically altering Big Lips with Syd’s DNA. So now, two Syd’s. Dun dun dun!

That show is okay with me.